Grandpa's Girls

Annaliese loves her Papa.  She loves her Nana too but Kev makes her laugh and she tries to do whatever he does.  

And then there's Santanah, she doesn't know what to think of him.  
She doesn't really cry when she sees him, but she was having a rough day.  

They are both getting so big and I do know if we had moved  we would have missed them both so much.

Huge Disappointment

I never made a post about us moving and I guess there was a reason for it.   I am a big believer in everything happens for a reason, so we are trying to keep that in the back of our minds.

Kev has been saying for years how he has wanted to move, he is so sick of carrying mail in hell....I mean the heat.  And around December he started to check into really seeing where we could go, should we go etc.  Then in January I finally said, if we're going to do this you need to do it cause you keep talking about it and I need to know if we are or we aren't.  So we made plans to start with going to Flagstaff and posting a letter to see if anyone would be interested in trading with him.  (trading is better then transferring because you still keep your status as a full time employee and are guaranteed 40 hours per week)  We checked out the Postal Record to see what we had to do to get something posted in the national magazine.  It seemed like we were finally starting to make a plan.  Then Kev goes into work 2 days later and sees a sign on the bulletin board (a board he never checks) and there is a letter on there from a guy from Flag who wants to transfer with someone from the east valley.  WHAT???  Hello.....this is meant to be.  So he called the guy he talked to him and they were in agreement that this is what they were going to do and both were going to get the ball rolling.   Now Kev doesn't call and tell me this.   I am literally talking to Janet about what we are going to do, how we are going to come up to Flag in a couple weeks and post a letter, etc etc and I walk in the house and on the counter is this letter that Kev found on the bulletin board.  I start freaking out.  Jan and I are like OMG OMG this is meant to be.  So weird.

Well Kev was at Applebee's so I go pick him up and he get's in the truck and says....We're moving baby.  It's a done deal!!!!  He said he didn't tell me cause he wanted me to be surprised.  He said, you were surprised when you saw the paper right?  Anyway, he goes on and on how he's already talked to the guy a few times that day and how excited he is and how awesome it's going to be to live up in Flag and be out of hell....I mean the heat.   So this is how the next few days went, he was excited and asking me if I was sure I wanted to do this and what we would do etc. The guy said he had little kids and wanted to know if we could wait til the end of the school year so Kev agreed to that so we were figuring around June 1st we would be living up in Flagstaff.   He sat down and wrote a letter to each Postmaster requesting the transfer and asking for approval.  He got a phone call from the Postmaster in Flag within a couple of days and he said he was looking forward to meeting him and that everything was approved on his end.  

We did go to Flag the weekend we were going to go anyway and talked to Janet about moving in with her and living up there and all that.  It was all coming together.  We started to tell people we were moving.  I told my job that I would be leaving at the end of May.  Our plans were to have Alicia move in the house and get a roommate and then we could decide at a later date if we wanted to sell the house or keep it.  Plus if we came down to visit we would have a place to stay.  

Kev finally got a visit from the Mesa Postmaster.  She came to see him in person and told him his trade was approved.  She said she just needed the date that they would be swapping.  We wanted a date as well.  Kev had been talking to the guy here and there, but still no specific date.  Our plan was till about June 1st.

About a month later, he gets another visit from the Postmaster and she proceeds to tell Kev that there's a problem.  That the guy from Flag has accidents on his record.   He tells her, it's not his problem and that she already approved his trade.  He doesn't hesitate to call the guy and tell him off.  WTF....you didn't tell me you had accidents.  What's the deal?  And on top of that I need a date, my wife is quitting her job, my daughter is giving up her lease when are we doing this?  He finally pins him down to a date in June.  Yea!!!! We have a date, the plans are still coming together.

NOT!!! The dreaded phone call happened.  Mesa has decided they do not want the guy from Flag.  Really????  you approve the trade before checking into his records?  You personally say it's approved and then decide you've changed your mind?  

Yes, really.   It fell through.  We aren't moving.   Kev tells me this and I right away am like, ok we'll fight it, we'll find someone else, we'll go somewhere else.  And Kev said no it's over, we're not going.  And that was the end of the subject.  He said I'm so pissed I don't even want to talk about it.  And we didn't.  I called Jan right away and she said give him a couple days, maybe he'll want to once he cools down.   So I waited and we talked about it and he still said it's over.  Here's the thing, yes he could try to find someone else or could fight it, but it would still take about 3 months and that means he works through the summer and that was the whole purpose of this whole thing.  He was trying to get out of hell....I mean the heat.  So other then the kids, we didn't tell anyone.  He still couldn't tell people or talk about it cause he was so disappointed.  Finally he did, and I did.  I told work I would stay on.  Alicia is staying in her apartment.  Janet is not getting roommates.  And Kev has another year of hell ahead of him.

Everything happens for a reason.

Year Anniversary


I can't believe it's been a year since we were going through all of the stuff with Alicia and Bee.  It's still so sad to think how he died at such a young age and that Alicia had to deal with all of that at her age.  I really felt like she struggled so much when it  happened and I just ached to know she was hurting so bad.  I would ask her how she was doing and she'd say fine, and I'd say are you getting any sleep and she'd say no.  But she never wanted to talk about how she was feeling or anything about Bee and the hospital or his death.  Nothing.  And I never pushed it.  I knew as well as others do, you don't push Alicia.   As the year went on all I did was pray she was coping and actually doing ok.  She really seemed to be.  She started going to the gym and losing weight, she was staying busy but we still never talked.  I guess I figured she would when and if she needed to.

And here it is the year anniversary and once again I didn't know how to talk to her.  I asked Kev what do I?
I don't want her to think I don't realize it's been a year, I don't want her to think I have forgotten about him, I don't want to upset her.....what do I do?   I started the day off with texting her to see how she was and how her day was going.  She said she was ok, she didn't sleep the night before but was ok.  It was a sad day for her because people were texting her to let her know they were thinking about her.  I told her that people just want you to know they love you and are sad for you as well.  I am pretty sure she actually did like the acknowledgement that people remembered, but still it did make her sad.

I still wasn't sure what to do so I thought I would just pick up some flowers and go put them in her apartment so she would have something waiting for her when she got home.  Her friends Laura and Megan text me to say they too weren't sure what to do so they left her a present for when she got home as well.  I stopped after work to get flowers and of course as I got out of the car at her apartment she pulled up.  So much for her having a surprise when she walked in.  She asked me what I was doing there and I told her I just wanted  to let her know I was thinking of her and loved her.  We stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk and hugged.  I honestly wanted to burst out in tears, but surprisingly didn't.  When she opened the door she saw Laura & Megan's present.
They said it was a bag of sunshine on an otherwise yucky day.  The whole bag was filled with things that were yellow.  Cutest thing ever, and she loved opening it.  Everything inside was wrapped in yellow tissue paper.  A Butterfinger, Lays Potato Chips, Yellow Sun Glasses and so much more.  We sat on the couch for a while and I asked her if she was going to go to the cemetery and she said she had already gone cause she had to teach that night.  Then she proceeded to tell me she had gone during the night when she couldn't sleep.   I told her she shouldn't do that, but she said it was the only time she could go and she was awake anyway so she did.  I understood.

I think it was a tough couple of days for her as well as the whole year, but  she is so amazing and so strong it's unbelievable.
As of January 2009, I no longer have a job. It's not that I lost it, but after 26 1/2 years of working at the Post Office, I retired. According to everyone I know, I don't do anything all day, so I decided to start a blog. Now I can blog about what I don't do all day. I am married to Kevin, who is the most awesome husband I could ever have. It's because of him, that I do not go to work any more. I love that and I love him for that. Between the 2 of us we have 4 children. Hunter 31, Heather 29, Paul 28 and Alicia 26.

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